Ask HN: What changed in your life when you started meditating (and how)?

> frustratingly difficult to even get through the first lesson in which you are supposed to focus on your breath and minimize the wandering of your mind

Everyone experiences this. Please don't be frustrated by it.

The mind wandering is part of the practice. In fact, that instant where your mind has been wandering and you "snap out of it" is perhaps the most valuable.

That little skill carries over into real life. When someone cuts you off in traffic and you feel that flash of anger, your mind will catch itself and you'll just let it go and get on with your life.

You're probabably already doing things right.

I'm a veteran startup founder. I've experienced a lot of panic attacks. Carried a lot of stress. Worked really hard on this stuff and grown a lot. I'm now good enough at managing my stress I feel like I can handle just about anything.

You seem fixated on meditation but it's just one tool. If it's not working something else may be blocking you. Here is a list of suggestions to consider:

- therapy

- work on curbing addictions (especially media addictions)

- read atomic habits for tools on how to change habits

- study stoicism (Ryan holiday is good, the daily stoic is great, Marcus Aurelius meditations also great)

- instead of trying to do long focused meditation exercises start smaller - just focus on your breathing for 30-60 seconds (big breaths try and pay attention to how it feels, focus attention on sensation of lungs and body) and do it more often, any time you feel bothered. Any time you want to pull out phone and escape.

- make it easier to do the habits you want and harder to do the habits you don't want. (More on this in atomic habits)

When you are meditating, let the noise flow through you

*What you are experiencing isn't a problem with meditating, it's that you have a backlog of stuff to think about. You need to give yourself more time to process your experiences and get better at accepting what isn't in your control*

Going away, e.g. to a cabin on a lake, phone off and put away for 1-2 days, just be present, chop fire wood, cook a meal, go for a swim, sit and think. Don't try and meditate, just stop ingesting new information. This will help you catch up.

What you are trying to do is really hard. You aren't alone in the struggle. Keep at it, it's worth it

Literally nothing, so I stopped

> I realized that even lifting weights, sleeping and eating well aren't enough

aren't enough for what?

> It's frustratingly difficult to even get through the first lesson in which you are supposed to focus on your breath and minimize the wandering of your mind.

There’s the problem: trying to control your thoughts. Thoughts will come and you shouldn’t beat yourself up when they do. Be patient, keep practicing, and you’ll get better at focusing.

Alternatively consider something like box breathing. I use the iBreathe app and find that works better for me than meditation.

Stopped mistaking my thoughts and opinions with reality.

Result: 90% reduction of agony.

Meditation method: remembering the sense of “I am-ness” in every waking moment, stop thinking whenever possible, focus on senses whenever I remember. When: always, unless I forget.

Short answer - stress word started feeling like a joke

I'm sorry this seems terribly HN of me to not answer your question and go on a tangent, but consider a retreat. If you want to give it a serious try, it's night and day compared to doing it at home for 20 minutes a day, especially in the beginning when nothing makes sense and it's hard to know which direction progress even is.

The first time I did a Vipassana retreat many years ago it really showed me that "oh, right, the mind can get into a veeery different state if given the right environment".

Some might say it's an artificial environment you can't replicate at home, and I agree, but by getting much further in such a dense time, it provided a better anchor for me to know what I'm even trying to achieve in my 20 minutes at home.

But it can be very intense, it's possible it would be too much for someone that isn't in an appropriate mindspace.

I'm a very unserious meditator, but when I sit down I at least know when I'm doing "right concentration" or not, so it's possible to have a direction.

I'm speaking very vaguely, but, you know... it comes with the territory.

What's the problem with stress? If you have sleep problems, just put something monotone on the TV/headphones in bed and try listening to it. If you don't - just roll with the thoughts. You will most naturally sleep it off every night.