FBI gets voter's IP address in new fraud probe tactic

> asking state and local officials for the IP address of a voter's online registration

Dear Sir or Madam (and only those two options),

This satirical letter from the Federal Republican government is to inform you that your vote has been thrown away, as we have determined you are guilty of one or more of the following offenses:

* You registered while traveling outside or too-near the borders of the state.

* You registered while on a public Wi-Fi network.

* You registered from any IP block where once saw a residential-proxy one day.

* You use a proxy/VPN regularly for any reason, and didn't turn it off when registering.

This decision is irrevocable, but you may make an appeal for future elections if you change party registration to the correct-one, or move to another district we don't are about.

Sincerely, the President's Personal Lawyer.