The Real Luxuries In Life

Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back.

One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.

I lived a short time in my 20s with friends a few blocks from my parents. When I returned to live with my parents for a short period the entire dynamic changed. You leave the house so you don't go to your room, you visit. I started talking more and listening to music with them. I really appreciated my parents more. I hope my relationship with my children will be the same.

this is nice to know as someone who is the adult child.

i used to argue a lot with my parents when i was still living with them, but ever since i moved out and we only see each other once every few months, our relationship has improved so much, and we're always happy to see each other in smaller doses

I never enjoyed spending time with my late parents. I only did so out of a sense of obligation. I have no children and have never really given that choice a second thought.

Its interesting that people value their relationship with their children so much and I assume its due to a deep sense of connection with them, they being "flesh and blood" but I've never given that any weight. I feel much more connected to people who have had similar life experiences and ideas to myself, and that could be anyone. I have quite a few relatives who I've never met or met once and do not see because they are nothing like me.

I suspect this is mostly due to being pretty far out on the pointy bits of various bell curves.

Health is a slope, but it makes things much easier. I've had health issues forever, but it's the kind that is fine until you suddenly start getting ill and the surgury and missing school/uni/work for 6 months which really screws things up.

I'd take that any day over getting rheumatoid arthritis, no matter how well managed it can be.

I would put love above health. Suppose you are perfectly healthy and even rich but have no friends to share anything with, life must be meaningless then.

As with many things, it's easier to stay healthy if you are wealthy.

You can buy personal training services, workout gear, a home in traffic-calmed neighborhoods where you aren't jogging or cycling along rural highways, a pool, etc.

You can buy fresh fruit and vegetables instead of highly-processed food. If you're American you can buy imported or certified organic meat instead of the hormone-filled shit on the shelves at grocery stores. You can spend less time working and more time cooking healthy, with no pressure to eat fast food because you're in a rush.

Money really does buy happiness.

No direct answer, but I’ve personally noticed that having seasons makes a big difference here. After spending the past year on the East Coast with all of the different seasons, I certainly felt like time was going slower and looking back. It is pretty clear cut in my brain as to how much I did during that time.

That’s in contrast to where I normally live, which is southern California where you basically just go between Summer and Winter Lite which does seem to make the time pass quicker and lead to more routine living. I’ve often speculated with my friends around here about how there is a “Paradise Effect” of living here with both how people live their lives, as well as with how we perceive time.

I've found that traveling and discovering new things make time seem to pass slower because I have a lot of memories of those new places. On the other hand when I'm in a routine and keep doing the same thing everyday, it feels that time passes slower at the moment (because I'm bored) but looking back then time seems to have flown by

I’m trying to fight it by journaling more and trying to remember more of the details that make each day special (good or bad). Even the small things. Whether that is something I did with my son, or something I did slightly different for a routine task.

If you spend a year in prison then the time will pass incredibly slowly, but in retrospect (this is what prisoners usually say) the ordeal will seem quite short. Conversely, if you spend the year furiously partying or traveling or trying new adventure sports then the retrospective memory will be full to the brim, but the year itself will pass in an instant.

It all seems quite logical to me. There's no negotiating with the passage of time.

because having money isn't the ultimate goal imho. it's what money enables - like a slow morning, a quiet mind, and good health. If money can't provide those or similar things, it loses its value more or less

Why "work with meaning" rather than purpose or meaning on its own? Do you see meaning as conflicting with slow mornings and rest without guilt?

Yes money helps you achieve the goals on Brad’s list.

It is a luxury to not have to worry about having enough of it.

As other comments already stated and have stated, money should never be the goal, it's the middle. Having money allows you to not worry about some of those topics, or having more time for them. If you don't have more it means you must worry about that. Having money means you don't: you don't have to worry about rent, health insurance, paying for experiences, food, etc. It's true, you don't need that much money, but still.

It just doesn't scale linearly. There's substantial evidence that happiness scales logarithmically with income.

https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/contra-pritchard-on-liberal...

It depends on your current situation. For some, 1.5Xing your money can add 100x happiness

Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, is on the record saying he is 'not often happy.' Somehow I doubt he'd give up half his wealth to double his happiness, though that's just a guess based on his other obvious character flaws ;)

Past being a millionaire or so, making money is a clicker game. It's something you do just for the fun of seeing number go up. And just like a clicker game, past a certain point you're no longer making the money through your own efforts, but by acquiring assets that can make the money for you (like buying the grandmas that bake cookies for you, etc.), so the game becomes determining the right mix of assets that let you acquire more, that you can then plow into more assets for even bigger growth.

The super rich aren't making more money because they think more money will buy them correspondingly more happiness. It's a game to them played at massive real-world scales.

I know a few retired men who labored hard, neglected relationships and health, and conditioned themselves to the point where a quiet mind and a slow morning would take a lot of work. I don’t think retirement means that you get the things on the list for free. You have to work for a long time to get those things.

source?

Well yea, it's the luxury that underpins most of the other ones on this list. The real luxury is not having to worry about money so you can focus on things like this. A luxury that is increasingly out of reach..

I agree, for at least some listed, though many people blow past the amount of money actually needed. Money starts as a proxy measure for attaining these things, but it eventually replaces them as the goal, per Goodhart's law.

Sure, but it also depends how much money you need, which is in your control to a certain degree.

Most of them are also easily pissed away if you have money. It cuts both ways.

I humbly disagree a bit. Most items on that list do not have to cost a lot of money (besides a washing machine and a dishwasher) and some of them cannot be bought. It is also a mindset. I adore slow weekends.

“People who love you back” is harder if you truly have money.

Maybe. But I can think of some very wealthy people who do not have these luxuries.

Would you mind sharing an example of "Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization"? In my experience, work, even when meaningful, is quite separate from self actualization. I'm interested to hear how you're combining them.

This is very true. These kinds of lists tend to be reactive to the author's environment and current state of mind. Work is not the enemy. A lack of autonomy ruins motivation.

Ask someone younger and their top ten is completely different. Too many will dismiss that as naivete while not recognizing their own ignorance.

That is why it is not a "List of things you can have tomorrow" but a "Luxury list".

When you have time, health and no stress - that is the luxury OP is talking about.

You don't even need to make more money if you have all those things. If you know your health is insured and you are healthy, you have a decent place where you can feel safe and sleep until late mornings and you do not have to worry about how much food costs - you basically live like a king.