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Discussion (41 Comments)Read Original on HackerNews
No good can come from letting a company become load-bearing in an activity humans were able to do for free since time immemorial - find a partner.
(Yes I'm aware some traditional societies had/have professional matchmakers)
Seems foolish to me to ban technology from dating given how much time people invest into it.
https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
In any case this is a non-sequitur. Recreational kickball isn't a dating app.
I don't think it's possible legally to "ban technology" from this space. "Dating apps should not exist" was aspirational, not a call for a legal ban.
This should be the title
So they don’t like it because “AI” is scary to ignorant people
The last time any dating apps were "good" was when they weren't apps, but websites. People on these sites back then weren't really trying to optimize for anything. Many were honest and had realistic expectations. It was considered a bit loserish because it's the digital version of the want ads. Of course, everyone likes piña coladas.
Dating websites were the less exhausting alternative to going out drinking or finding new social circles. People understood that low risk meant low reward, but hey it was either that or no date at all.
In other words, this was always a pretty bad scene. What changed is the marketing angle more poised to take advantage of the naive. Making it shiny because computers isn't really working anymore. It's crazy it ever did.
The per-event odds of finding love by going out drinking and joining new social circles are low. But the odds of making some great memories in the process are pretty high*. At least better compared to the alternative of sitting at home and swiping on an app.
* There's an entire TV show based on this premise. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_I_Met_Your_Mother
I can't ever see anything improving. They will just learn how to manipulate men further into paying, where you suddenly get swarmed with likes then get nothing for a period then get swarmed again so you remain hooked and eventually pay.
I think the mathematics work better if they match you with "mostly compatible" people rather than "not compatible at all". Success stories are important because that's how you build recognition.
Now a days though, match group owns all dating apps so they have a monopoly in dating. Whenever a new app comes to market that's "better" (which will be, in its initial stages) they acquire. Users migrate and then they ruin. Rinse and repeat.
They recently acquired sniffies (a gay cruising app) for like 100M. Go figure.
1. There's a steady stream of unmarried individuals so as you match people up there's more people (either just from growing older or divorce) that can use the app.
2. If you don't already own a dating app, then even if you cannibalize the market you can still make a large sum of money. Akin to mining all the gold in a plot of land; sure your company needs to close once its gone but you made money in the interium.
2.5. If you do already own a dating app, if you're known for not working then people will stop using the app and go to a competitor (assuming you didn't buy them all ...)
* Recruit friends to make recommendations mimics classic searching techniques
* Can scope out a more complete bio early in the process, for both AI and Human filtering/matching
* Their long term incentives will be meet if they post cute couple pictures or generate new long term users
In theory the 'knows people you know' thing is a good vetting system for finding people to date though.
In any case, you only pay for dates you go to (unless you cancel at the last moment). Their incentive is to send you to as many dates as possible.
I won't go into my personal explanations here as I'll just be downvoted into oblivion (there are other forums for that discussion) but I will say this: without men and women having reasons to be in relationships--especially long-term reasons--then relationships won't happen. It's proving easier to get our needs met outside of relationships.
I'm actually fine with this. I'm not sure I want to be around the same person constantly for longer than a few years and I'm glad modern life allows me to do that. Leaving my family when I became an adult was the best thing I ever did.
I'm sure someone out there's thinking or about to say "families are the basis of a stable society" and that's incorrect. The basis of a stable society is having enough money. Without that, families are simply going to be a performative thing to satisfy angry people and/or busybodies.
Enlighten us.
as surely as fire will burn
the gods of the copybook headings
with terror and slaughter return
The old formula has endured and shan't be supplanted by these fancy gizmos.
It seems inevitable if you are consistently around people and known to be single that they will try to set you up with *someone.
This is surprising to me. I'd think churches would be overjoyed about congregants dating, getting married, and having children (who then go on to attend church).