Windows 11½

249

jjjbinx007 about 2 hours ago 68 commentsRead Article on definitelynotwindows.com

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67% Positive

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Discussion (68 Comments)Read Original on HackerNews

paavohtl•about 1 hour ago

I can tell this is fake from the fact the explorer context menu and the start menu open in under 2 seconds (on a top end Ryzen CPU, nonetheless).

gumby271•about 1 hour ago

Yeah the volume slider wasn't disabled for 2 seconds after opening the dialog, Microsoft should take notes!

accrual•about 1 hour ago

This is insanely good and mimics my personal experience of Windows these days. I literally say "pop-up! pop-up! pop-up!" out loud during a normal workday where one pop-up or prompt is rapidly replaced by another. Same app or different, doesn't matter, there's always something trying to grab attention on a Windows desktop unless you configure the hell out of it (and even that is no longer enough).

My favorite "joke" from this site:

> Scan complete: 1 threat found — ChromeSetup.exe

FWIW, I switched to Fedora in January and have no plans to look back. Only $dayjob relies on Windows anymore.

MarkusWandel•about 1 hour ago

"always something trying to grab attention", that's the root problem right there. Even on a work computer unless you've changed your homepage, every time you open a tab on Edge you get a screen full of distraction clickbait. And then you wonder why you never manage to concentrate any more.

cwnyth•about 1 hour ago

Welcome to Fedora! I've missed literally nothing about Windows since switching to it about a decade ago now (around the time they announced Win7 EOL), and every time I had to use it for work (thankfully never these days), I grew more and more confident that I never will need to return and that Windows is only getting worse.

technothrasher•15 minutes ago

> Only $dayjob relies on Windows anymore.

I'm in the exact opposite situation as you. I managed late last year to switch at work to Debian full time on both my machines. The few older Windows only programs I need run just fine under wine. But I'm stuck with a Windows machine at home because of Lightroom/Photoshop. They are tantalizingly close to running well under wine, but not quite there yet for me.

marcduck•about 1 hour ago

What WM/DE do you use? As much as I find Windows annoying sometimes, I haven't found anything for linux that feels as polished.

chrismustcode•about 1 hour ago

It's soul destroying going from personal computer Linux (been figuring out the distro for me) to Windows for work.

Even worse they use Office 365 with sharepoint, they've even turned off web search somehow on copilot and can only search internal servicenow and SharePoint pages making it worse.

Things are pretty dire.

Anybody hiring who uses Google workspace and (preferably) Linux or MacOS let me know.

reaperducer•41 minutes ago

Same app or different, doesn't matter, there's always something trying to grab attention on a Windows desktop

One of the things that most impressed me when I switched from Windows to OSX was that OSX prohibited programs from stealing focus.

Sadly, that prohibition ended maybe five versions ago, and now macOS is like Windows -- You can be typing a document in a word processor, and then suddenly for no reason you're typing it into a browser, and then into a password field that popped up out of nowhere.

Hey, Johnny Apple! Fix this!

timpera•3 minutes ago

Are people really seeing ads in Windows 11? I've never seen one, is it a regional or licence specific thing?

jedbrooke•about 1 hour ago

It’s too snappy and responsive, real windows I gotta wait with the spinning blue ring thing for a few seconds after clicking ‘x’ on the notifications. That is when they’re generous enough to give an ‘x’ and not force the user through some onboarding flow with no easy way to opt out

burnt-resistor•about 1 hour ago

Yes. And some apps should freeze for 10-40 seconds despite having an SSD and 32 GiB of RAM.

ducktective•about 1 hour ago

You're doing something serious aaand suddenly out of nowhere the fan starts screaming cause some cryptically named process decides right now is the time to get stuck in some loop

drnick1•about 1 hour ago

It must be hard for Windows users to imagine that on Linux there are is no activation, no Microsoft account, no cloud backup, and no pop-up requesting that you install crapware when you plug in a peripheral.[0] You also own your disk encryption keys and are not assigned an identifier that can be used against you.[1]

[0] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6IFVTcM28KA

[1] https://www.pcmag.com/news/a-hackers-arrest-reveals-microsof...

sneak•15 minutes ago

Yes but every program you run can do anything you can do with your user account, which is catastrophic.

bradfitz•about 1 hour ago

This is not realistic; the start menu opens way too quickly.

marcosdumay•about 1 hour ago

True, but the search fails to reduce the number of options, so some things are right.

throooooo•about 1 hour ago

I can feel my blood pressure raising. Very accurate to the Windows experience.

metadat•about 1 hour ago

Win XP was peak computing for the masses, and most didn’t have a clue!

throooooo•about 1 hour ago

I preferred 2000, but admit that didn't make it to the masses.

burnt-resistor•about 1 hour ago

2k appeared to retain NT's responsiveness with seemingly separate threads for processing UI stuff where XP appeared to devolve to Windows 98 (pre NT) in terms of UI and app event processing merged together into a single foreground event loop.

cwnyth•about 1 hour ago

A mature Windows 7 wasn't terrible. You could easily configure it so that it stayed out of your way, and only the updates were a headache. Windows 8 and those beyond were all downright atrocious. While I had dabbled in Linux for years before then, announcing Win7 EOL finally pushed me 100% into the Linux camp.

beloch•41 minutes ago

Nice. A couple thoughts:

1. It needs to take a minute to load. While doing so it should display an "Installing Updates" progress bar that is controlled by a random number generator.

2. After booting in, it should try to sell you several services. The decline options should be hidden and possibly moving around evasively. Clicking them should have good chance of backing up all your files to OneDrive anyways.

austy69•42 minutes ago

I recently switched back to windows so I could play Wardogs with the boys and I’m not enjoying my fans running at 100% when I’m not even running a game and the constant notifications. I’ll be back on Linux within a month

doawoo•about 1 hour ago

> Windows is activated with a digital license. The parody watermark will remain because it is part of the joke.

Thank you for a good laugh

gpvos•about 1 hour ago

The "fix everything" button should link to a Linux installer.

ajkjk•about 1 hour ago

My windows 10 pc continues to bother me to update because I won't get security patches anymore. I will absolutely never update to Windows 11. The only way they ever get me to pay for an OS again is if they go far out of their way to be respectful to the user to compensate for all the disrespect.

comandillos•about 1 hour ago

I've spent a few months trying to convince my management on getting a Macbook after fighting with a kernel memory leak that consumes the 128Gb of RAM in my freshly new Dell Pro Max 16 with Windows 11. It seems the best solution my IT gives me is to replace my laptop... which I have already done... three times.

riskable•about 1 hour ago

Proving once again that Windows isn't ready for the desktop.

Dwedit•about 1 hour ago

Back when Windows RG (2001) was considered a sharp mockery.

(Random fact, at the time that flash came out, clicking on the A: drive made your real floppy drive light up)

MattPalmer1086•38 minutes ago

Pretty good!

Could maybe use a "Catastrophic failure!" error message (experienced for real last week)

Real windows is still actually worse...

So glad I moved off Windows at home back in 2003.

itronitron•42 minutes ago

just want to add that if the creator adds Powerpoint, then starting a Powerpoint presentation should prompt a 10 second countdown to a forced update and restart...

sensanaty•about 1 hour ago

My mother-in-law bought a new laptop last week and asked me to set it up for her, it came with Win11 by default. I was genuinely flabbergasted at how terrible of an experience it was, screen after screen of "We respect your privacy. Let Microsoft collect every single thing you have ever dared to breath onto this computer?" right in the install screen. After that lovely experience you're greeted with a billion random junkware preinstalled like fucking Candy Crush. I wanted to crash out when I clicked around in explorer and saw every UI element buffer for a split second, and after further research it seems they're using React in explorer these days.

What the hell happened?

miek•about 1 hour ago

My aunt pulled a Windows XP computer out of storage recently because she's sick of Win 11. I'm excited to hear updates from my cousin (though unfortunately, I have to expect this experiment will fail)

stackghost•about 1 hour ago

I hope she doesn't log into anything important on that computer because it's unlikely it can be made sufficiently secure for today's internet.

the__alchemist•32 minutes ago

Valid. The good news is it's a nicer experience once you click through those. (Be careful; there are a few tricks where the "skip" button changes position and emphasis). Then sometimes a Windows update will make you go through part of it again; once every 3 months or so.

ducktective•about 1 hour ago

Don't worry, AI's gonna fix it in Rust in Windows 12

johnecheck•about 1 hour ago

Missed opportunity to have that say "365 Microsoft apps installed"

rasse•about 1 hour ago

Stop giving Microsoft ideas!

netsharc•about 1 hour ago

Please, Please, MS, Streisand this. And then they can change the name to "Microslop Winblows"...

corvad•about 1 hour ago

It's too fast to be real windows and there is not a task manager so I can kill apps when they always freeze.

1-6•about 1 hour ago

This is a remarkable depiction of a modern operating system.

CobraMode•about 1 hour ago

Start menu comes up too fast.

eej71•about 1 hour ago

Parodies are supposed to be fun!

That wasn't fun. At all.

screams into pillow

ICHx•about 1 hour ago

so much rage seeing this

kerv•about 1 hour ago

who else got rickrolled?

lmc•about 2 hours ago

Please add deep linking or something so back doesn't mean starting from scratch

Cyan488•about 1 hour ago

I don't know about you but after a few seconds, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

I'm glad I didn't have to spam the back button to do it.

crumpled•about 1 hour ago

I feel like this would be overprocessing. Is the state really that important or difficult to recreate?

dverlaeckt80•about 2 hours ago

LOL. Well made, give me more than a few chuckles :)

"Windows is taking its time for your convenience"..

tosti•about 1 hour ago

"Your privacy is important"

stackghost•about 1 hour ago

Someday in the future, business students will be directing their agents to study cases written by the Harvard Business Review's LLM agent about how people at Micrsoslop saw:

- What good UI/UX could be

- What good LLM integration can look like

- What good office productivity software looks like

And how after seeing those thins they went on to do the exact opposite. I simply cannot believe how bad most Microsoft products are these days. Windows in particular is so much worse than even Windows 10 from just a few years ago that it's almost funny.

I can only conclude that Satya Nadella is a mac user, because nobody who actually dogfoods Windows would consider the current state of affairs to be acceptable.

shivajreddy•about 1 hour ago

This is wayyy too accurate!

redox99•about 1 hour ago

Kinda hate the vibecoded sounds.

javcasas•about 1 hour ago

You mean the Copilot-ed sounds?

ex1fm3ta•18 minutes ago

hmmyou should add random delays for each actions. Also add random freezings for each element. This is too clean to be windows.

dmfdmf•35 minutes ago

Needs the "update completed" notice then moves all your icons, apps and menu items around to new locations or gone completely

Levi_Braga•about 1 hour ago

Very cool website!

tonymet•about 1 hour ago

A couple recommended additions

1. the full screen "welcome to your windows experience" to enroll with Office 365

2. Run a Space Force satellite app that stalls into involuntary windows update

badgersnake•20 minutes ago

MacOS is going the same way unfortunately.

sagarayi•about 1 hour ago

this is too much fun. nice one :)

thomasmarton•about 2 hours ago

> Win 11 parody

I'm sorry but where is the parody?

- A Win11 Home user

w4yai•about 2 hours ago

I'm also a Windows user (and a Linux one too, no worries guys), and I must admit, this parody is a little bit real ...

FpUser•about 1 hour ago

Lol. Love it but for some reason my windows does not do any of that

billfor•about 1 hour ago

I have Windows 11 Pro and I've never seen an ad. I don't remember turning anything off but I did upgrade from Windows 10, so maybe that had something to do with it, unless it's just that Pro doesn't contain ads. I also don't use it with a microsoft account and don't have any "services" from them, so maybe that helps.

crumpled•about 1 hour ago

I'm curious about this, as a Windows 11 pro user, myself. Do you already have a Microsoft account, use OneDrive, and pay for Office 365?

throooooo•about 1 hour ago

Really? My Win 11 install (sparsely used nowadays) is nag city. Set up OneDrive, activate cloud backups, sign into your Microsoft account, oops Xbox Game Bar popped up because I pressed some key combination, reboot (a few times) to finish updates, set up copilot, error installing update, reboot before installing update, etc.

qwerpy•19 minutes ago

Some other ones to add on from my fresh install: Start menu search will search the Microsoft Store for apps they want you to install, some key combinations will launch copilot and if it's not setup it will take you to a webpage that will help you set it up, every office application has a cheap looking unhideable jeweled title bar button to "Upgrade your plan".

Solutions in order of the problems listed: https://superuser.com/questions/1927207/how-to-remove-the-st..., https://github.com/midrare/hyperenable, and my favorite: downgrade to a previous version of office which is almost certainly unsafe and has active exploits (16.0.19929.20106). But I hate that button THAT much and my wife refuses to move off of Onenote for our family knowledge management. I am close to just using Onenote in a browser (where I can zap the offending element) but the loading pages on demand is annoying.