Dating Apps Are Dying

password54321•about 1 hour ago

Ironic. This is written from a women's perspective so it is giving the exact opposite issue majority of men have, which is they don't have much choice on the apps. I did notice however people were much more friendly on the apps in southeast asia (and no I don't mean 'those' people) even when you told them you are just passing through. So it is probably not just intrinsically the apps but the apps reflecting a certain side of society.

lambda_lord•about 2 hours ago

Pretty spot on. In real life, you have hundreds of micro signals that you evaluate attractiveness on, albeit on a shallow level. How they smile, the sound of their voice, the way they conduct themselves. The profiles on dating apps have ridiculous prompts, e.g. "two truths and one lie", "a dream home must include XXX" and you start to see the same photos a dozen times. In an effort to find "the one" you take mental shortcuts to reject someone.

I would say that dating apps take out the awkwardness of approaching someone in real life who isn't mutually interested. It can be socially devastating to ask out someone who you thought was showing interest but was not.

Social media can easily make someone look like a creep just to ask someone out. Before social media the awkward encounters would have largely been forgotten.

Finally, before dating apps, many people met their partner at the workplace. There are huge consequences (getting fired) for asking out someone who isn't interested, or if it doesn't work out. And we are much more aware of professional boundaries.

wodenokoto•about 2 hours ago

While I agree that dating apps encourage superficial engagement and that the app provider goal is to have you use the app, while the users goals are essentially "getting off the app", the main downfall of dating apps are fake profile and profiles promoting paid services (paid dating, paid sex, paid whatever)

herbst•about 2 hours ago

Coming out of a very long relationship I was shocked how things changed.

I never was a dating app kind of human, but it helped me to get out there and even find my last partner.

First I assumed it's me, I am old now. But I slowly realized it's more than that, other people are old now too and yet it feels so distanced. It feels so different. It feels dishonest and fake.

But is it really much better in reality? Aren't we getting more and more distanced either way?

iammjm•about 1 hour ago

> But is it really much better in reality? Aren't we getting more and more distanced either way?

Yes, and yes. We are getting more distanced, but clearly the online/digital interactions are amplifying this in an extreme way. Like the idea itself that we are both talking to a bundle of plastics, metals and electronics and everything we say is mediated by this THING between us, that's as distancing as it gets. But it still is possible to just talk to people "out there" in the real world, but since it's less common and happens less often than it used to, I think we kinda lose this as a skill because we are out of practice, and its not just us but also "them". So I think the real-life interactions nowadays need some more engineering to set up the conditions for them, but at the same time people are desperate for them and craving them

herbst•about 1 hour ago

That's the weird paradox. Never have been so many people been alone, never have so many people lived alone. And yet it seems so hard to connect.

I mean sure living in Switzerland doesn't make that more easy for sure, but the general issue doesn't seem to be a local one.

dude250711•about 1 hour ago

> "I can reject a profile in less than two seconds because I do not like someone’s hair or because he falls outside my preferred height range."

We need an app with weight/tattoos/debt/children filter.

Dating Apps Are Dying

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